life's really funny sometimes...throws up surprises everytime you do not expect it to.i remember a warm morning about 6 years ago, March 1999, in fact; i was sitting up on my bed..maybe it was the prep. leave for 11th exams, when i noticed a news item in the economics section in the newspaper which declared in bold letters,"Embattled PSU FCI to be closed by Govt."...

understatement of the year, i say.

i recall a vague feeling of uncertainty like i had lost something which i could not remember, but there was a feeling of some inexplicable loss.
Well, i gave the exams n came back home, it was a muggy evening n dad had come to pick me up.i stepped out of the bus and there..i could see it, feel it, the township was dying.just like that.all my childhood, all memories were going to be consigned to dust.just bloody like that.

you once asked me a question, i don't know if u remember.it went something like, "why do you love tragedy so much?". i don't think i ever told you.well, my answer now is that when you can 'feel' a part of you dying, not just 'see' but 'feel', that makes you, in an instant, far wiser and far more older than before.it makes you realise stuff that you don't want to.it makes you remember everything good and regret for its loss.And even more, it shows you decaying people.

you know why garbage rots...because it wants to erase all memories of it ever being something even microscopically better than it is now.so it degrades and destroys itself so that it can deal with the reality.that is why people rot too..they cant bear to think themselves as better that they are. so they become bitter, and make themselves worse.

it was worse when i went to school a couple of days later.i never want to see a place of learning as soulless as that again..it was hollow.i have never been particularly fond of discipline..but the freedom i saw there made me cry.i wanted to shake those teachers..wanted to tell them that nothing has changed; they are still the masters of this place.i wanted to kick every student for refusing to respect my childhood idols..i wanted to scream at the illustrious roster of names at the board..cajoling them to come out and support this place when it wanted their support...then i realised..it was destined to become another ordinary school with its mundane problems.it would not shine again.the lustre was lost.

have you ever seen an abandoned factory..don't.it gnaws as if at your very soul.machines need a man to be complete.you know what they do when they dont get them...they stand and mock.i know,i was there.thats tragedy.

what they also do is that they make ghosts out of men.people become poor parodies of themselves.and they bloody decay.

don't know why i am so angry today...guess i did not get good feedbacks on the SoP :) actually wanted to tell you that life is funny...i will always remember 2002 n 2003 when all in the family were unemployed...guess time turns a full circle..didi got her job today..today was the first day. ...just like that.. bloody funny, don't you agree !!