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Friday, January 13, 2006
Project el wino: Or how i learned to stop worrying & drink wine
We
had this party some time back. the guest list had me, shalin, aditya
& hitesh. the occasion was to mark the new year or re-opening of
college..whatever, i dont really remember the reason (neither is there
a need ).
so, the guest list assembled @ my place. shalin had this bottle of wine
he had brought from europe (italy ?? i thought wines were french ).
anyway, this highly illegal bottle, smuggled as it was from the land of
the mahatma, came to its rightful end..amongst a couple of
no-good yem-bee-aays, who were discussing Fin fundas - DCF, fund flow,
equity etc in the party (in short they were l-o-s-e-r-s). after dinner,
we were like settling down to see some CNBC TV 18 (yeah, u are still in
the party) when someone had the audacity to suggest opening a wine
bottle. fine, but since we are like proper yem-bee-whatevers (all ready
for our subsequent assignments in McKinsey Corp for their Gambia
office)..we wanted to do it the way. so we fired up a laptop & went off to Wikipedia to find out..the first one in the quest.. how to open a wine bottle ?  The laptop & the wikipedia link..the wine bottle has been opened by now. after
some suitable searching..we found a link which suggested that we use a
corkscrew. shalin came up with an antique swiss knife, (probably the
prototype device itself ) and we set it to the task...  The Prototype Swiss Army Knife - Provenance Unknown. Notice the odd shape of the so-called corkscrew ..reams
of stuff can be witten about our abortive attempts to get the friggin'
corkscrew into the cork properly.awww..man.. that was the hardest task
ever given to a mortal ever since Hercules cleaned up the agean
stables. since none of us had that kinda mythical family background, we
had to use our own hands.it was one long, cold hour that we spent on
it. aditya & hitesh were like totally
disgusted by our lack of success. finally, even the screw gave out. now
we were really up the shit creek without a paddle. they
say anger can lead to great things..it led me to the kitchen knife.
destruction was on my mind as i chipped, hammered & clawed my way
to eternal glory..one sip from the immortal drink of gods. finally..in
one glorious motion of the knife..the cork was free <<interruption: the cork was free..doesnt mean that it was out of the bottle. i pushed it down in the last paroxym of rage, so it was inside the bottle. wtf, shalin assured me that authentic wine drinking also includes having bits of cork in the mouth. >>  The offending cork inside the wine bottle. for ease of viewing, it has been suitably highlighted ...and we were just about to glug down the bottle down our throats..when the moment seized us. 
...man! we were holding a bottle of genuine (italian) wine & we
were just about to gulp it down without a regard for all those glorious
french words...what nihilism !! thankfully..before we could embarass
our McKinseian future bosses, sanity restored & we went rushing
back to wikipedia..this time, the topic was how to drink the darn stuff. ....and quietly flowed the waters from the muddy banks of wishkah. P.S.
the wine sucked big time. both me & shalin gave up after two
glasses, with a major case of acidity to both. the said bottle is still
@ my place & if u are a virgin who hasnt tasted the fruits of
gods..turn up. you can take the darned stuff. 
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